Glow when you get chance

An old lady was sitting on a whhelchar at the society gate. I never saw her before, not in the last one year since we shifted. But she wasn't in her night gown. She was wearing a fine salwar kameez and wore an emboidered dupatta. Her feet were bare though resting on the pedal of the wheelchair.A man who would be in his mid fiftees was showing her something afar. He may be her son as the face cut had distinct similarity. The old lady, quite radiant with joy, tried to follow his descriptions and sqinted her eyes to see what her son was showing. The scene remained in my heart for long. May its the first day after prolonged illness that she could finally see the sun and the birds fly and smell the grass. After very long she could interact with passers by. It must have been a herculean task today for the frail lady to dress up and come and greet the strangers. For her, its like scaling the highest peak. And for some, she is a gleamer of optimism and hope. Just like the stray dog hovering around her, just in case her gets some biscuit or the little boy marvelling the lady's chair, he was looking at it intently and asking questions about its various functions. The lady was happy and eager to answer. What an eventful memomorable day, for the ones who captured the scene. Specially for the old lady, she is grasping every experience and not leaving anything for tomorrow.

And if...

And if you asked me today - What is life? I would not dither a bit to tell you that Life is an Act of Figuring Out. Figuring out where you belong, what to do, how to plan future, why things happen as thy happen, how to deal with things, whats my purpose... and finally how to let go. We keep on figuring out all best possible ways and try fixing them until we can do it no more.

Only If....

And some day like this , I could only reflect upon the roads not taken, trips not made, calls not received, hands not held, not greeting more and paying visit frequently... often to the ones who matter.

And so they remain

Again we had to pack our lives in the trunk and move. Every morning I basked in sun in the lush green lawn, hugged the tamarind and mango trees at nightfall, danced in rain and watched the birds frantically flying to their nests and the century old neem tree stood testimony to all my love and tears. Its been a few months since then. While I was still reminiscing over my heliconias, duck flowers and lemon trees which are either mercilessly plucked away or decimated to ground, a video popped up from the ongoing conflict of Israel and Hamas war. It was of a beautiful home or remains of it. Strewn were framed photographs of the family members, heaps of broken plates, framework of furniture, toys, burnt curtains, clothes, greeting cards and bedsheets but surprisingly the garden was left unscathed. Flowers dangling from the branches, plants in the short drive way looking fresh. The green leaves remain but the green fingers are nowhere. The transience and unpredictability of life is baffling yet its the ultimate Truth. But at this moment, I wish the garden there to bloom with laughter of children, not rockets but buzzing of the bees to fill the air, not fear but motley colured wings of the butterfly to invade each flower. I realized being happy and to absorb the present to the fullest is a treasure for future. Therefore at this moment I relive the wonderful times again, glad for today, contented with everyone and everything around, and not at all dejected or regretful of what has gone by.

Budding but not blooming

Budding yet not blooming! It's been days that the Tiger Lily bulb which is full of promises, devoid of the ultimate expression. I stood for a while thinking what could have gone wrong. The sunlight, potting soil, the pot, watering all measured to perfection yet the subdued orange bulb wont open up to the world. Once a beautiful bright red hibiscus bud was completely devoured by equally firey ants. I kept waiting for the bloom then, too. Will the lily bud meet the same fate? Or It's just matrix of time...it will undoubtedly spread its magnificent petals one fine morning kissing the dews, fliring with the sun and swaying with the wind...?!? I'm certain many amongst us feel the same way. Budding with possibilities, pregnant with promises, teeming with ideas, loaded with potential and yet... for me, I dont know how to bloom. But I am all prepared and setting my crown straight and waiting for the moment.

Today

To know that everything will end one day makes living exciting or being oblivious of the inevitable closure of life makes every moment worth celebrating? Being ignorant as a child or being mindless as a lunatic makes us seize the day? 

Mostly, being aware of our mortality makes us honour the present. As waking up tomorrow , bathing in the sunlight is a miracle and this doubt makes us fearful. So we clutch onto today before it slips away. 

We lost many todays, haven't we?

Feel Again

There was a time when I got things whatever I wanted. Sometimes by pleading, attimes by throwing tantrums. It could be a doll, a cake, ice cream or a pencil box. And it made me think that I was powerful and invincible enough to convince elders to submit to my demands. Quite condescending I guess! Little realizing that those little things which I got were symbols of love and affection. Certain things which I failed to get I conviniently forgot about them as all small children do. As I grew up I figured that broken hearts could not be fixed. Childhood friends become distant. Loved ones fade away into oblivion. Complexities of life and situations are something to deal with, there is nothing to win or lose but to float along. For a while I felt enfeebled,shaken. Then going through the vagaries of life I learnt to accept what I cannot change. Sometimes gracefully, sometimes grudgingly. But there are some moments where I want to feel powerful again just like a child, grab and get whatever I want!