Do I dress up or cover up?

Its the fifth dress I tried. Only to return from the trial room with a less cheerful smile added to it is a feeble voice with an unconvincing excuse to the attendant," the colour is not vibrant enough as I thought" or " the fitting is not right " or " its not exactly what I want." But secretly I wanted it, yet dubious about my figure. Of which, once I was so sure and flaunted without any prejudice, now all of a sudden I have become conscious and weary. I would rather take a dress which hides my concentrated body mass at places, basically cover myself up.

The six dress I took in the trial room. Even before wearing I already rejected it , as the suave summary dress would accentuate my hip and sleeveless means I always have to remind myself to work in the gym and the spotlight would be my arms, which reflected the image of a blunt mace. Fear of failure gripped and crippled me- just like my pins and needle moment when I kept waiting for the last tinkle of the OTG oven and prayed ardently that my chocolate cake would come out perfect. Is it always about striving for perfection in every thing?

 

Sixth Dress

I stood still in front of the long mirror. It was afternoon and there was no bee line in front of the trial room. Therefore I could take time than usual. My mood oscillated from being critical, pensive and then ruminative. Okay, the image in front of me shows that I am mother of two kids, it is implied that I juggle many responsibilities, it gives indication that I am irregular at exercise, it also hints about my sudden chocolate craving and sweetened tea binge with my favourite jeera biscuit and it also reflected that life is like flowing waters - it goes on. Water as it flows through different land forms changes it course, colour , curves, volume and as it surges ahead it fluctuates and intensity differs.  So am I.

I am living, I am flowing, I am moving ahead and therefore the course and curves have changed. But I am still the same.  Therefore, I halted the denunciation of my self.I thanked my body who carefully nurtured my soul for so long and more and...

 

I billed the sixth dress.

I am part of nature and nature is part of me

I went for my routine swim yesterday evening. It was almost 8 o'clock and time to get out of the water. For my last lap, I decided to take it easy and float instead. I really never tried this one...but then my ears were under water , face facing the sky..never ever I think I felt part of the nature in this manner.

I felt the hugeness of the creation.

Water was unfathomable (at that time I felt so) and the hue of the navy blue sky, recalling almost the end of the day..and just myself in between. There was just the mumbling sound, voice of nature or my inner soul? I admired the hugeness and power of nature. It was an ambivalent feeling. for a fraction of second I was scared but the tranquility enveloped my senses. Nature will take care of me . My mother and other near ones are there too...somewhere. Either in the listless sky who is looking down at me, or the air brushing my face soothingly or the blue water cradling me....Who Dares Death?