Today

To know that everything will end one day makes living exciting or being oblivious of the inevitable closure of life makes every moment worth celebrating? Being ignorant as a child or being mindless as a lunatic makes us seize the day? 

Mostly, being aware of our mortality makes us honour the present. As waking up tomorrow , bathing in the sunlight is a miracle and this doubt makes us fearful. So we clutch onto today before it slips away. 

We lost many todays, haven't we?

Feel Again

There was a time when I got things whatever I wanted. Sometimes by pleading, attimes by throwing tantrums. It could be a doll, a cake, ice cream or a pencil box. And it made me think that I was powerful and invincible enough to convince elders to submit to my demands. Quite condescending I guess! Little realizing that those little things which I got were symbols of love and affection. Certain things which I failed to get I conviniently forgot about them as all small children do. As I grew up I figured that broken hearts could not be fixed. Childhood friends become distant. Loved ones fade away into oblivion. Complexities of life and situations are something to deal with, there is nothing to win or lose but to float along. For a while I felt enfeebled,shaken. Then going through the vagaries of life I learnt to accept what I cannot change. Sometimes gracefully, sometimes grudgingly. But there are some moments where I want to feel powerful again just like a child, grab and get whatever I want!

Not curious enough

I was in a rush. Moms always are.It was way past bedtime and yet my boy who was suffering from throat infection held the glass in his left hand and looked lost and engrossed in the yellow lukewarm water. It was grandma's remedy to gargle with turmeric and salt water. 

I reitierated and reminded him once more in an anxious tone to do the needful. 

Then I tapped his back and urged to utilize the time. He seemed nonchalant but intently looking at the water.

 " Mumma, I could see the creation of a planet here," spoke Jai with thrill in his voice and glint in his eyes. I raised my right brow in surprise and visibly disconcerted. I was about to push him one more time to do the required job.

 But with an expression mixed with astonishment and desperation he asked ," Why do you forget to be curious when you grow up?" I was bemused more. "Come here, mumma , and see," he ushered me to look into the glass. "You stiirred the salt and turmeric powder in water and after a while the miniscule yellow particles came from diffferent places, as if attracted by something in a central point and merged together on the surface of the water...," he excitedly continued without taking a breath, "That's how planets are formed too in space.It's so intersting and I can see it here." And he walked away with euphoria in his stride. 

I stood there for a while. Am I really stuck with charting duties and doing things within a stipulated time that I have forgotten to see the every day little miracles in everything around me?

 I donot lead a fast and furious life but the element to be delighted in regular things, finding something new in everday affair, to derive fun in the most mundane stuff is dwindling away. A child can see and feel the universe in a glass and I feel overburdened even when standing under the vast sky twinkling with stars. What am I seeking?

 And I decided to the let the child in me bloom again.