Sketch : Pensive Princess

 

                                                        Pensive Princess

The Tale of Smita and Swapan. My parents.

 The tale of Smita and Swapan. My parents.

A common love story which blossomed in the streets of Calcutta in early 70's with a unique and uncommon ending. All because...someone didnt want her Love and Faith to fail. It took undaunted courage and unwavering commitment to fulfill this Love.

Happy Anniversary to the eternal love birds. They have been celebrating "Togethernes" in Heaven for more than a decade now. A marriage hardly matures in eight years. It's too short a period. But me and my lil brother happened and that kept my mother going.

Their love bloomed during the tumultous Naxal Movement. A firebrand, charismatic, impulsive and very handsome young man found solace in a sensitive, dutiful, profound and passionate girl.

The 70's was the era of frugality. Turbulence brew which was followed by a tectonic shift in politics in Bengal. People were caught in quandary. It touched the young lovers too.

Swapan and Smita met quite often at the Coffee House in College Street. Paying for two cups of coffee was way too much so they shared a cup. Those hours were magical. The commotion of the Coffee House ebbed away as they remained engrossed in each other. She was the answer to his inner chaos and confusion.

Their relationship was wrought with impediments and complexity. All the drama around them eclipsed their love or so it seemed. Many a times they decided to trod different ways. But their paths crossed mysteriously and life converged at a point. They surmounted all hindrances and tied the nuptial knot on 17th April 1974.

But the Almighty has a puckish sense of humor and therefore a raging storm destroyed the newly settled nest...

With a six year old girl and a six month old boy, the young woman shouldered the responsibility of her in laws too who lost their only son. She juggled all the duties with equal elan and grace. Behind her quiet demeanor and composure lied grit and determination. After all, she had a promise to keep. She could not let her Love and Faith to fail.

Well some love stories have a different ending and this is one of them.

Boromamima

Boromamima

It took me a year, to gather myself and write about a very dear friend - my Boromamima (my aunt, maternal uncle’s wife). How over the years affection metamorphosed into a blooming friendship and her sudden demise left a deep crevasse that I can never overcome. Phone calls stretched from minutes to hours and encompassed all sorts of topics under the sun. A retd IAS officer, her humble demeanour made her loved by many. For the past two decades, I have been crisscrossing the country and she paid me a visit where ever I went. I would rattle out about various stuff on phone, she exactly knew where to advise, at which point to intervene, and exactly when to give a patient hearing. When chips were down I would cling onto her, she was my buttress against despair, my anchor.

Never forgot to wish on birthdays , anniversaries, or during important events. Both my mama and maamima would courier new dresses before the commencement of Durga Puja. And after my mother’s death, it was a ritual for her. My maamima would fret more over the size and mama over colour, especially buying clothing for my teenage daughter. I had to talk to the floor manager of Pantaloons over phone to assuage their worries. She was always amused by the antics and quirky ideas of my son. If I ever happen to get busy and not call her for a while, an anxious message would pop up, “kiire shob thik ache toh re?” (Is everything fine?)

Then there would be this predictable question around September, for which I would forever wait - “Ebar Durga Pujoye ashbi?” (Will you come during this Durga Puja?).

For the past few years, she became my pillar as I was hers. Maamima was always candid yet balanced with her suggestions and perspective. She came as part of our family in 1985 and grew more treasured as years went by. It was her first death anniversary yesterday, coinciding with the auspicious Mahalaya Tithi. As the festive mood and celebration fill up the air, for me, it’s one less reason to come to my very own city of joy. I lost a very dear friend. A year gone by, and I realized I needed her more than she did.

Festivals - A way to celebrate life

 

Festivals - A way to celebrate life

 The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate – Ophra Winfrey.

Festivals are a cheerful way to celebrate life. They break the monotony of every day subsistence and like a sweet nectar, rejuvenates the whole existence around us. They delineate the heritage of our country to the next generation. Festivals are also a reminder that you can coexist with others and be happy simultaneously. Claiming that you have inherited a rich culture is not enough if you fail to adjust with your neighbours or bond with your family. Festivals are a great opportunity to forget, forgive, come together and celebrate the moment. Festivals also symbolizes that work is worship.  Whether ploughing, sowing or harvesting –physical work along with the changing seasons and nature are celebrated and honored equally.

I feel instead of ensuring material comfort and building assets for our children, we must invest in building relationships. And festivals are a wonderful passageway to that as they bind the entire humankind with joyous thread of happiness and exuberance. It is equally important to decipher the meaning of each festival, relating it to history and molding it with the modern era so the current generation can interpret it better.  Wherever life takes them , our culture and tradition is an invisible umbilical chord which will connect them to their roots. It’s a bridge between the past and the present.

Youth and Freedom

 Youth and Freedom

‘Those who deny freedom to others deserve it not for themselves.’ Abraham Lincoln.

Lincoln’s words aptly reflect the equilibrium that needs to be maintained between freedom and responsibility. Youth symbolizes great force, adrenaline rush, fearlessness, passion and innocence. Youth is such a juncture in life that some might become unrestrained. They must understand that Freedom does not mean license but wisdom to fathom that your own freedom should not conflict with others. This means that we donot tow the line of anarchy and some order is maintained and restored in the world.

The notion of Freedom to youth is also relative and also evolved with mankind. Early humans, specially the strong and young, used to butcher and scavenge meat for living –that was their freedom. During pre independence era in India, freedom meant, freedom from the colonial rule. Many young lives were snuffed out as the oppressor silenced them with death or deportation, but not before they could ignite the dream of free India amongst others. What would you call them or their actions? Reckless, brazen, injudicious? They took the responsibility to free India on their young shoulders.

 

In this era of ‘instant’ espresso coffee, ‘instant’ weight loss programmes and house loans available at the bat of an eyelid, most youth today look for ‘instant’ remedies, ‘quick’ changes and ‘fast’ improvements. But there are no quick fixes for long term benefits in a large and diverse country like India. And instant fixes, as history of mankind witnessed is ephemeral. Therefore when sometimes the ‘freedom’ is curbed in certain parts of the country momentarily for greater good of the nation, the youth must stand united and not create a furor over Fundamental Rights. Before asking about the Fundamental Rights and before casting vote, please read and value the Fundamental Duties of the Citizens of India incorporated in the part IV-A of our Constitution. The idea behind the incorporation of the Fundamental Duties was to emphasize the obligation of the citizen in exchange of the comprehensive Fundamental Rights enjoyed by them. In a way to create a responsible citizen.

 

Responsibility also breaks down in two key words. Respond and ability. Ability to respond but to what? Well, there goes the universal truth. Without responsibility freedom can never be acquired. Today’s youth  must understand that Freedom does not mean buying high end gadgets or speak and act impetuously or hyperventilating your own cause at the cost of others Freedom of thought, expression and belief. Having said so, I would like to accentuate that a sizable portion of the youth also understand and fulfill their responsibility towards their families and country and the larger humanity as such.

But for the rest, Freedom does not mean you are free to tease, stalk or physically abuse a girl. You cannot violate anyone’s freedom.

Freedom does not mean you are free to debase and humiliate any religion, criticize food habits, dishonor or discriminate anyone’s social status based on any yardstick. Different beliefs and perceptions coexist and they are justified in their own way.

 

 “Freedom is nothing but a chance to be better” - Albert Camus

 

Wisdom to choose the right path is what makes you free.

Freedom does not mean disseminating rumour and hate messages with your finger tip. The nation has also given you the right to vote and be a part of democracy with the same finger tip. So use it judiciously. Use it for nation building and do not be a cause for disintegrating the society. Polarization and conflict creates chasm; initiate debate and discussion, it is enriching, it broadens horizons, gives an insight to contemporary situations and also promises solutions.   

 

 “Those who are ready to sacrifice freedom for security will ultimately lose both.” Abraham Lincoln.

 

While one young man attains martyrdom safeguarding his motherland another cannot be caught in act of immorality, defaming his country or committing a heinous crime or even lackadaisically spending time by just taking the Freedom for granted.  

 

“Freedom of mind is the real freedom. 
A person whose mind is not free though he may not be in chains, is a slave, not a free man. 
One whose mind is not free, though he may not be in prison, is a prisoner and not a free man. 
One whose mind is not free though alive, is no better than dead. 
Freedom of mind is the proof of one's existence.” Dr. B.R Ambedkar

 

Youth is a great force and with guidance, they can accomplish the most formidable and exigent task under the sun.  They are the most dynamic segment of population of any country. India is one of the youngest nations in the world, with more than 62% of its population in the working age group. Youth also defines progress, youth resonates hope, awareness, fresh ideas and resounding courage. They must break free of all shackles of medieval thought process, superstitions, self-doubts and stride ahead--with Dignity and shoulder Responsibility, value Freedom and work together to upkeep it for a beautiful Tomorrow. 

Body Shaming

 

Let me start by asking you this, “What do you think of yourself?”

The problem is not your body; the problem is what you think of it. Your weight, complexion, height, attire all these can never define your worth. Feeling beautiful has nothing to do what you look like in the eyes of others.

So let me repeat the question again now….”What do you think of yourself?” We are our own worst critic” is often a phrase we use to describe when we, as individuals, are too hard on ourselves. For most people, it is a natural tendency to always be better, faster and stronger however this craze for becoming better can result in severe mental health consequences, especially when it comes time to our physical appearances. And the media hype eulogizing size 0 and in tandem with the beauty industry has made the situation worst. When you step into a cosmetic shop, the first thing you hear is that your skin, hair and nails all need to be fixed. Your hair is frizzy, skin is chaffy and nails are pale, so you can be a improved version only if you buy the most exorbitant products in the line! And just like Holi and Diwali SALE offers very morning the phone is flooded with the messages from fitness centers. ..25% fat loss in 30 days, HURRY. And if you escape the messages you are sure not to escape the Gym leaflet featuring Deepika Padukone or Disha Patani and guaranteeing you to make a proto type of the actresses on their leaflets. Why will you give up BEING YOU FOR SOMEONE ELSE’S OPINION?

Now this some one attimes can be the parents, siblings, friends, enemies, and schoolmates. Body shaming manifests in many ways:

·        Criticizing your own appearance, through a judgment or comparison to another person.

·         Criticizing another’s appearance in front of them

·         Criticizing another’s appearance without their knowledge.

 

Sadly, body shaming occurs among both men and women of all different shapes and body sizes. Body shaming has included both criticisms of being “too fat”, or “too skinny”, often picking on flaws that completely irrelevant. Many magazines, social media platforms, and advertisements contribute to body shaming in ways that have started to normalize these damaging behaviors. Many TV shows and movies have fallen into this pattern as well, where the “fat” character is often the subject of criticism and comic relief. We must understand that negatively commenting about the size or shape of anyone’s body can be extremely damaging to them potentially leading to low-self esteem, anger, self-harm and even mental health disorders, specifically body dysmorphic disorder.

If the Almighty wanted us to be the same then the all men would have looked alike Justin Beiber and all women would photocopy of Katie Perry and we all would have the same name, social and economic status, probably the share the same birth date, same food habit and hobbies. 

Close your eyes for a moment and feel it, will you give up your individuality?  Now again let me reiterate the question  ”What do you think of yourself?”

SO PLEDGE TO STOP BODY SHAMING  RIGHT NOW. STOP IT BY LOVING YOURSELF FIRST THE WAY YOU ARE AND YOU WILL LOVE OTHERS THE WAY THEY ARE TOO, BECAUSE YOU CANNOT POUR FROM AN EMPTY CUP – SO LOVE YOURSELF. There are seven billion people in this universe and you cannot satisfy all. Neither should you endeavour to do that. Period.

According to Oprah Winfrey, ‘I finally realized that being grateful to my body was key to giving more love to myself and others.’ And for the ace Tennis star Serena Williams, ‘Since I don’t look like every other girl, it takes a while to be okay with that. To be different. But to be different is good.’ 

Today take a walk in a garden, or stroll in a lawn or wherever you are look at the greeneries around. Every flower is different from the other and they bloom in different time and season as well. The tiny lantana is not striving to look big like lotus. The purple petunia is not comparing itself with the white rose. The ice plants are happy in winters and the zinnias and the sunflowers bask in the glory of the summers. 

Should we spend the lifetime impressing others, pleasing the society and social media in striving to be who you are not or enjoy the life which you have? Fear what others think of you is the biggest prison you or we live in. Break the shackles, and celebrate yourself, your body, your look, your words, your thoughts…..Be YOU.

Who stole my dream?

   Who Stole My Dream?

Who stole my dream?
I don't care.

But who stole my force?
The force in me could create umpteen dreams,
myriad, sensuous, adventurous, powerful, simple
I need the shine,
It was all mine.

I don't need the fire of Prometheus,
I am not fighting the mighty Zeus

But I need my fire,
To rekindle my soul, to awaken my spirit.
To dance in the rain, to embrace the sunshine,
To smile at the twinkling stars at night.

I need my fire,
I need the glare,
I need my force
I need my source.

Where can I find?
Is it encased carefully in the castle of time?
Should I visit my girlhood?
Or go back to childhood?