Not curious enough

I was in a rush. Moms always are.It was way past bedtime and yet my boy who was suffering from throat infection held the glass in his left hand and looked lost and engrossed in the yellow lukewarm water. It was grandma's remedy to gargle with turmeric and salt water. 

I reitierated and reminded him once more in an anxious tone to do the needful. 

Then I tapped his back and urged to utilize the time. He seemed nonchalant but intently looking at the water.

 " Mumma, I could see the creation of a planet here," spoke Jai with thrill in his voice and glint in his eyes. I raised my right brow in surprise and visibly disconcerted. I was about to push him one more time to do the required job.

 But with an expression mixed with astonishment and desperation he asked ," Why do you forget to be curious when you grow up?" I was bemused more. "Come here, mumma , and see," he ushered me to look into the glass. "You stiirred the salt and turmeric powder in water and after a while the miniscule yellow particles came from diffferent places, as if attracted by something in a central point and merged together on the surface of the water...," he excitedly continued without taking a breath, "That's how planets are formed too in space.It's so intersting and I can see it here." And he walked away with euphoria in his stride. 

I stood there for a while. Am I really stuck with charting duties and doing things within a stipulated time that I have forgotten to see the every day little miracles in everything around me?

 I donot lead a fast and furious life but the element to be delighted in regular things, finding something new in everday affair, to derive fun in the most mundane stuff is dwindling away. A child can see and feel the universe in a glass and I feel overburdened even when standing under the vast sky twinkling with stars. What am I seeking?

 And I decided to the let the child in me bloom again.

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The Sky is limitless but fearful

On the occasion of World Yoga Day we camped in the open. It was around 6 am. Light cool breeze, chirping of the birds and mellow rays of the sun transcended me to a new world. While perfoming the Bhujangasana, I raised my head up. The white cotton like clouds sailing effortlessly yet mysteriously in the perfect vast azure sky. Some of them were clubbed together and going somewhere.But where? As far my eyes could see it was blue and white polka dots making their way to another horizon probably. The morning sun looked happy and carefree, just like a babbling child who just woke up in his mother's lap. But the space above looked infinite, the dancing clouds in the morning light wind didnt give me much solace. Suddenly, fear gripped me. What ever the saying goes, after death I would never like to go up there. How can I go somewhere which looks so far off,  enigmatic, and its enormity so imposing. Somehow the immenseness of the blue firmament indisposed me. Its captivating yet fearful. You may want to travel the untrodden path, explore the unknown , scale the heights with newfound vigour and curiosity after you leave the shell, but I would love to hold on to the earth. Touch every leaf, feel the wind, whisper to the grass, play with weeds and flowers alike, float in the river and ride the formidable milky waves. I will dance in the rain and gyrate witnessing the rainbows, sleep beneath the blanket of twinkling stars till the morning dew wakes me up, caress every bird, snuggle with every animal and insect, take a mud bath and be with my own beings here - in any form.

Lemme knew her purpose

Is it by constantly, repeatedly searching for our purpose in life we fail to understand it? Last year we bought two gunea pigs for my son's birthday and he named them Lemme and Cookie. Within a year Lemme gave birth to eleven offsprings. She was the most vocal, energetic specially when it came to munching the vegetables and adored the red juicy tomatoes.She had an unsatiable appetite. While other youthful cavies would run helter skelter and look for a far off dimlit corner and huddled, Lemme would jovially leap and then raising her front legs tightened the grip and nip away the largest piece of cucumber from me. Every two and half months there would be addition and Lemme ould lovingly nurture her furry babies. She always looked content, even in the cage. Two days ago she died after giving birth to a litter. And she looked content then too. Her demise saddened me and her look baffled me. Is this persistent striving, proving, struggling, voraciously trying to find who we are, franctic in depth search within to find peace...in this frequent search, much like the ruffled waters we are unable to fathom who we are. Contentment has become the Neverland.In life and death Lemme knew the purpose, yes, a tiny guinea pig understood her reason to be here, didn't spend days to realize or chase it, but why can't we who claim to be higher beings are never gratified. Who is more closer to the Almighty? For me, its Lemme.